For Couples On The Brink  –Gain clarity and confidence about what steps to take next with your marriage with Discernment Counseling.

Chances are either you or your spouse feels little hope or energy to start traditional couples counseling. You may have tried that road before. You may not be able to believe your partner can change at this point. The one thing you are sure about is that you aren’t completely sure what to do next. 

Discernment Counseling is designed to give couples a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options. This is a tough spot to be in and arguably one of the most important decisions in your life. A spot in which you deserve some support to help during this difficult time. consideringdivorce-300x240

Who is Discernment Counseling for?

  • People considering divorce but not sure it’s the right path for them.
  • People who want to take one more look at their relationship before making a permanent decision.
  • People who want to give their marriage another chance, even though their spouse is moving toward divorce.

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship – and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help – and the other is “leaning in” – that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage. 

The goal of Discernment Counseling is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future. 

The goal is not to solve your marital problems, but to see if they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. 

You will come in as a couple, but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in different places. In fact, most of the time is spent with each spouse separately, creating a safe zone to explore all options.  The counselor respects your reasons for separation or divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health. There will be an emphasis on the importance of each partner seeing their own contributions to the problems and possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships, even if this one ends. 

What to expect

Discernment Counseling is short term, just 1-5 sessions, and leads to a decision to try to restore your marriage to health with  clear agenda for change, move toward separation or divorce, or take a time out and decide later. The first session is usually two hours and subsequent sessions are normally an hour and a half. You will decide whether to attend another session at the end of each session.  

Intended outcomes of Discernment Counseling

  • Gain clarity and confidence about what steps to take next with your marriage.
  • Understand what has happened to your marriage.
  • Look at three sides of your problems; yours, your spouse’s, and an objective professional’s perspective.
  • Determine whether past counseling has been helpful.
  • Evaluate the possibility of solving your problems and staying married.
  • Make a good decision about whether or not to move toward divorce.

Discernment Counseling is Not suited for these situations:

  • When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce.
  • When one spouse is coercing the other to participate.
  • When there is danger of domestic violence. 

How do I get started?

Discuss Discernment Counseling with your spouse. If your partner is willing to attend, give us a call at 763-497-0733 and state your interest in Discernment Counseling. 

*There is a flat rate of $100 per hour. No insurance is used for Discernment Counseling.